truffle shuffle (big bang mix) – 11.30.07

i’m very much not connected to the office today. i’m here, but i’m not exactly here. here’s a sampling of the rush hour that’s been rolling through my brain today:

holy geez. it’s already december. well, it’s pretty much december. it seems like just yesterday that i was having a panic attack, thinking i might have ms or bells palsy and wondering if i could get sympathy sex out of any one of those problems.

now, i’m on the brink of making the 4th largest decision in all of my almost 32 years (maybe the 3rd. i can’t decide where buying a house ranks), i feel pretty healthy, i enjoy things more and worry less. and, no, you can’t get sympathy sex for having ms, bells palsy or a panic attack. you can, however, get sympathy sex for having a sinus headache.
–
i love the holiday season. not for any of the consumerism type reasons; bwe & i don’t have kids, and more or less do well enough to buy the things we want or need as we want or need them. i do, however, love giving gifts. i think that i like about the holidays is that people seem to be a little less anxious, a little less self centered, and the fact that no one looks at me funny when i listen to charlie brown christmas, christmas with the beach boys and a very special christmas all day.
–
as for the supertopsecretspecial project, i’ve realized that, while i’ve made my decision, there are still a couple of loose ends that need to be tied up before i can make any sort of announcement. there’s still the slightest chance that it could blow up in my face, and i can’t paint myself into a corner.
–
i meditated for the first time last nite. my brain’s in such a high gear right now that i had to use a rosary, a “sounds of nature” cd, and do yoga breathing in order to clear my brain and focus on relaxing. it was awesome. i’ve never meditated for more than a couple of minutes before getting distracted and frustrated. last nite i was able to go all the way around my big rosary (i move one bead each time i complete a breath) and meditated for 15 minutes! it’s a christmas miracle!

tired of typing…here’s the shuffle:

1. a beautiful book – butterfly boucher (flutterby)
2. dig me out – neilson hubbard (i love your muscles)
(weird. first two songs are by two good friends. that’s pretty cool.)
3. descending – the black crowes (vh1 storytellers)
4. julie’s in the drug squad – the clash (give ‘em enough rope)
5. hypnotise – the white stripes (elephant)
6. try a little tenderness – otis redding (the very best of…)
7. 100m backstroke – josh rouse (home) (another “local” although not a friend)
8. no use lying – the black crowes (lions)
9. company in my back – wilco (a ghost is born)
(if only i could explain the unintended irony in those last two songs)
10. nothing man – bruce springsteen (the rising)

good weekends to all and to all a good sprite.

one more sign of the end of civilization

as i sit around my office and go through my day i see and hear more people absolutely killing the english language. using “me” when they should use “i”; making up words like “substain”; not to mention totally ignoring adverbs (if i were the letters “l” and “y” i’d probably just go ahead and retire).

i’m all for casual language. hell, i only use capital letters when absolutely necessary. still, how do people go through their days speaking and writing as though they were a free internet translation service?

it boggles the mind.

a new rule and a stern warning

in the past couple of weeks, i’ve received a few emails that made me sick. one had to do with race; the other dealt with nationality and “american” pride.

these emails pissed me off beyond comprehension, so i’ve adopted a new email policy:

if you send me something that i think is racist, xenophobic, falsely religious, or just plain stupid, especially if it’s a forward of a forward of a reply of a forward, and ESPECIALLY if it tells me that i’m a bad person for not forwarding it on, i’m going to call you on it and call you out on your so called “viewpoint”. and if i can see the other email addresses, i’m going to reply to all, not just to you.

i imagine that my emails will piss people off. in fact, i know they will. i don’t care. i’m tired of getting hate filled emails sent under the guise of patriotism, christianity or being a good person. especially when they say something like “God bless” or have a bible verse in the signature. “God bless you,” unless you’re gay, mexican, democrat, or club footed.

for the good of civilized people everywhere…before you hit forward, please think about what you’re sending. if you don’t, and it lands in my lap, you’re getting a reply. and you’re probably NOT going to like it.

like your uncle tom said

“the waiting is the hardest part.”

i’m having to wait on finalizing things on the supertopsecretspecial project. not indefinitely. not forever. more like for an afternoon. or maybe a day. or even until lunch. i’m stuck on hold, waiting for one phone call, one email, or possibly even a telefax.

do you remember when you were a kid and you’d wake up at the buttcrack of dawn on christmas day to open presents? the agony you felt as your parents insisted you eat breakfast before tearing into teddy ruxpins and g.i. joes? that’s me right now. if it weren’t for the fact that i was listening to the national, i’d be a slobbering, rocking-in-my-chair basketcase.

i’m really hoping to make the big announcement this week. really, really hoping.

update

i swear i’m not trying to be a tease. frankly, it’s sorta driving me bonkers to not just blurt it out.

the supertopsecretspecial project is coming to a head.

i think that i’ll have news for you in the next 72 hours. news that’s real, not just “things are going well, film at 11.”

i mean real news.

things that i won’t be announcing:

-i’m pregnant
-bwe’s pregnant
-a change in gender or sexuality
-i’m joining the circus
-my name’s really dick cheney and i’ve been spying on you all. who gives a damn if it’s legal. I’M DICK CHENEY!!

more news as i get it.

peace out.

thankful

it’s been an interesting year.

at this time last year, i was going to one doctor after another, trying to figure out why the left side of my body would go numb. i had one test after another, all as inconclusive as the last. then, a year ago tomorrow, i had a panic attack driving back from a clusterf**k of a photo shoot in knoxville. i thought i was dying. having never had a panic attack, i thought that all of the things they were testing me for were happening all at once. luckily for me, none of them were.

in the past twelve months i’ve done a lot of assessment and evaluation. made some changes. some of them public. most of them private. not knowing if you were going to die makes you stop and think about things, you know.

a year ago today, i had no idea what i wanted to do with my life, only that it had to be different.

today, i know what i want to do and i’m trying to make that a reality. part of that involves the supertopsecretspecial project.

still, i’m a little sad as i reflect over the journey of the past year. i turned into a very mortal 31 year old. all of me might not have died, but part of me did. maybe he’ll come back, but for now he’s in the ground. you lose a little bit of joy and levity when you think you might be dying.

i digress.

today, i’m thankful for a ton of things:

-my wife. she is the best partner i could ever hope for. “best wife ever” doesn’t begin to describe the way i feel.
-my church family. God has put me in touch with a group of believers who are more like me than they are different. even though i’m still not going as regularly as i should or as i would like, they are my community and my family.
-my “real” family. we might not always get along or see eye to eye and they certainly don’t understand my point of view half of the time, but it’s nice knowing that there are some people who know where home was.
-music. i’m not playing as much as i used to, and i’m definitely not pursuing it as a career, but i have realized more comfort, joy and peace in music than probably any other form of art. in fact, i put together a special playlist just to type this “state of affairs” post. (we’re currently listening to “notice” by gomez. “opportunity knocks, knocks, knocks. open the door.”)
-self evaluation and discovery. God has sent me on quite an interesting path and adventure over the past twelve months. it’s been terribly difficult and i’ve learned to lean on, to rely on, and to need His help and His strength.
-climbing. i wish that all of you could experience and feel what i experience and feel and get from climbing. some do yoga. i climb.

i could go on and on, but i’m running behind on the list of things i said i would get done around the house today. i gotta paint trim, vacuum the house, attach trim, paint the baseboards, and get ready to go see my niece tonite (oh yeah, i’m crazy thankful for her and her mom & dad)…

so as ryan adams sings it’s a hard way to fall, i’ll leave it at this:

it’s been a hard year. a year of discovery, pain, loss, and realization. and i couldn’t be more thankful.

what’s in a meme?

alright, so i’ve been asked by a friend to help rebrand his business. he’s asked me to help him design a meme, no small feat. for those who don’t know, a meme is sort’ve like a logo on steroids. a meme can be an idea, an image, a catchphrase, anything. it just has to infiltrate culture and take on a life of it’s own.

here are some examples:

the pillsbury doughboy
“got milk?”
extending your thumb upward with an outstretched arm to hitch a ride.
popped collars (may they rot in hell)
“i’d like to teach the world to sing…” see? now it’s in your head.

that’s a meme.

i’ve been given some keywords that i’m supposed to reflect on to create or help design this thing. here are the words:

fun
adventure
energy
strength
excitement (exciting)

i’m stuck. crazy stuck. i can’t think of one damn thing that conveys those ideas in a way that is catchy or would be an image that people would immediately attribute to his sort of business or make people think of his business when they saw something similar.

so here’s my question:

what pictures or images do you guys think of when you see those five words?

discuss amongst yourself.